I Am Still Standing Still

Hi...

Thanks for the time reading my blog.
I'm still here dear. Life has to goes on. I've read the comment. And thanks again for your thoughts. It's really help.....a lot.

Abg and me still....on. This might get you suprised. I'm tried to make a barrier between him and me. Well, when the real time come...I became not so sure. How "bloodyfull" I am. See??

Abg had proposed me and that was really made me terrified !! I was like been awake from a dream. But I'm aware that I'm in a real life. I am not dreaming at all. I still can't keep my mind from thinking about kakak and thier children. They must hate me very very much for the thing was getting worst till their parents had divorced. Even I can't forgive myself, as well. I've never couraged abg to jatuhkan talak. And the thing happened. Abg had convinced me that was not anyone decision, accept that was fated. He was assured me that he was not been influence by me or by anyone. She was wanted for that for so long.

Hence, I've been thinking that husband anf wife should be together no matter what. Accepting for good and for worse. That is the way it should be.

I was left the proposal without any answer yet. I don't have a courage to make the decision. When think of what sakura said..am I really love him..well. Yes, I do. But there thousands things that I have to count on, beside the love I have for him.

Love is not enough to guarantee that everything will be smooth and "OKAY". Especially after you tie the knot. Not exactly. There many things to come after that. Kakak, the girls, the young one...huh.

I'm not afraid but I've been thinking for him. Even I've adviced him to get back together with kakak.

Love..again. When talk about love..Z will came along...huhuhuhuhu.

I'm do not know what kind of woman..or human am I right now.

Sometimes, I even don't know what I'm really want in my life..RIGHT NOW !!