Been Away..For A While.
Hiiiii..
Phewww . I was so busy lately. And it was really suprised me that the last entry was posted on June. And now its almost mid of the July. I was not been online since that.
I was been away from home for almost 2 weeks. And I just came back this evening. Its not a complete 2 weeks actually. I was in south for 4 days last week and today just came back from the state that full of history.
Been drove far down to south really made me felt so tired.
Above of all, there are so many things I want to write in here. Got a lots of changes lately. The relationship, abg...and Z.
Emmmmm. I was looked like a "crazy woman" right now. Been away and busy with works really helped me a lot too.I even do not really realized for what I've done lately.
Ok..First, I'll write about abg. I had wrote here about him once he got back from his humanitarian trip. That was about a month ago.
I met him once, few days after that. And that was the last one. There's a story to tell. I met his friend when we were had our dinner. As usual we always been away from this town but not for that night, even we were 80 km away, but that night we've "been" caught".
I was felt 50-50 when I accept the invitation. We took his car that day. And we went down 80 km from here to have our meal. And for that far away, we met someone he know. And I was so regret. And I'm consider that I'm still lucky because his friend did not know me. Furthermore it was night and we were sat in slightly dark place. His friend thought that he was with kakak. Anyway..thanks God. And since then, no more outing.
He was so mad with me for being so scared. It's really make me so scared. And I've been thinking a lot after the incident. If I'm really afraid for that just small matter, how can I over come bigger task than that. :(
I've been refused when ever he asking for go out. I said..no more. I don't want to take any risk anymore. Because I've been feel that, sooner or later, one day we might been caught by someone we know. No way. I don't want that to be happen.
Since that, Its really make me realised that I' m not that ready for to be a second wife for him.
And another thing came at the same time. After the meeting with Z (I've wrote it here in previous entry), there was several meetings followed.
I felt that I'm really, really A BAD WOMAN, at the moment. After all those time I've been with abg, suddenly I turn to Z. Even actually I don't really know what I'm looking forward from him. Being had been together for many years, made me so easy to say yes when he asked for going out. Plus, when I felt that I wanted to been away from abg made me felt much strong to get back to him.
Get BACK to him???????????????????????
Noooooooooooooooooooooooo. I won't make the same mistake.
But, beleive me, it's almost happen now. Well, I know what I want for myself. Dida always remind me for what I did lately. I said...yes, I will still keep within it.
And the bad was, I've met Z four times in those past 3 weeks. Even, last week, we had met twice. That will be another story. I'll write it in my another entry.
I got to take my sleep now. Nite.
Missed zeeta and hello to sakura.
Phewww . I was so busy lately. And it was really suprised me that the last entry was posted on June. And now its almost mid of the July. I was not been online since that.
I was been away from home for almost 2 weeks. And I just came back this evening. Its not a complete 2 weeks actually. I was in south for 4 days last week and today just came back from the state that full of history.
Been drove far down to south really made me felt so tired.
Above of all, there are so many things I want to write in here. Got a lots of changes lately. The relationship, abg...and Z.
Emmmmm. I was looked like a "crazy woman" right now. Been away and busy with works really helped me a lot too.I even do not really realized for what I've done lately.
Ok..First, I'll write about abg. I had wrote here about him once he got back from his humanitarian trip. That was about a month ago.
I met him once, few days after that. And that was the last one. There's a story to tell. I met his friend when we were had our dinner. As usual we always been away from this town but not for that night, even we were 80 km away, but that night we've "been" caught".
I was felt 50-50 when I accept the invitation. We took his car that day. And we went down 80 km from here to have our meal. And for that far away, we met someone he know. And I was so regret. And I'm consider that I'm still lucky because his friend did not know me. Furthermore it was night and we were sat in slightly dark place. His friend thought that he was with kakak. Anyway..thanks God. And since then, no more outing.
He was so mad with me for being so scared. It's really make me so scared. And I've been thinking a lot after the incident. If I'm really afraid for that just small matter, how can I over come bigger task than that. :(
I've been refused when ever he asking for go out. I said..no more. I don't want to take any risk anymore. Because I've been feel that, sooner or later, one day we might been caught by someone we know. No way. I don't want that to be happen.
Since that, Its really make me realised that I' m not that ready for to be a second wife for him.
And another thing came at the same time. After the meeting with Z (I've wrote it here in previous entry), there was several meetings followed.
I felt that I'm really, really A BAD WOMAN, at the moment. After all those time I've been with abg, suddenly I turn to Z. Even actually I don't really know what I'm looking forward from him. Being had been together for many years, made me so easy to say yes when he asked for going out. Plus, when I felt that I wanted to been away from abg made me felt much strong to get back to him.
Get BACK to him???????????????????????
Noooooooooooooooooooooooo. I won't make the same mistake.
But, beleive me, it's almost happen now. Well, I know what I want for myself. Dida always remind me for what I did lately. I said...yes, I will still keep within it.
And the bad was, I've met Z four times in those past 3 weeks. Even, last week, we had met twice. That will be another story. I'll write it in my another entry.
I got to take my sleep now. Nite.
Missed zeeta and hello to sakura.
posted by cahaya at 10:18 PM
2 Comments:
Welcome back sweetheart !!!
What happen lah .. tiba tiba jadi cam ni ...
You have a good rest ya...
Love,
Zeeta
hi cahaya,
i`m glad that u finally managed to go out with some other guy besides abg...Don`t feel bad about yourself.anyway, you are 51% single..it means, u are probably attached to someone but you are still allowed to date other man...therefore, u have the right to go out with anyone you like... ;)(furthermore, you are not married to him.. and he does not own you!)
sometimes,it is just the loneliness that made to want to turn back to Z..it`s okay to have such feelings because we are all humans..The trick is try to see new faces...not seeking for love, but to find new male friends...U`ll realized that u are not falling for Z..but u were just lonely...Try it out..and u`ll see what i mean..:)
Best of luck!
sakura
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