:)

Hi.

Actually I really don't know what to write. But I just simply on my pc and simply just wanna write at least something. But until now, am still blurrrrrr.

Anyway, maybe I just want to write for what I feel right now.

Am still feel "a bit" empty. Still. But am totaly 100% in good condition. I am perfectly "okay".

I woke up bit late today. I missed my early prayer. I had breakfast bit late. And everything seem been late when you woke up late.

I've got nothing to plan yet. Still on my bed. But I was thinking to visit some of my good friends. I want make my self busy as I can. Even though I'm so not sure that whether I can drive as far as 5km from this place or not.

I feel much lazy lately. Maybe because of the situation. But I'm pretty sure I'll get over this matter sooner or later. I must. I must.

I do miss him. And I think he got the same feeling right now. I saw kakak last night at the cafe. She was with the baby and someone,that I cannot recoznise. Having a cup or two maybe while chatting. She was so beautiful in black. Her fair skin made she looked more beautiful. I only can reconized her when I saw baby, beside her at the round table. But I didn't see abg.

On the way back I called him, but the hp was off. And this early morning when I woke up, I recieved his sms. He sms me at 6am. That was what I'vee been missed for the these few days. But I can't reply or return him a call. I've made a promised for that.

I also don't know how to end up all these things. He begged me. I want to leave for good. I don't want to think about it anymore. I just want to be free again. Not to carry on with this relationship that I think I know where it would be end up at last.

Get married will make many people sad and angry. Not to proceed as well, would make me and abg much suffer. So, what should I do? It is not the matter that I am not have that much brave to make a move, I mean to get married. But I don;t want to settle down in the situation that everybody will get angry and upset for what I will do. Plus I need the bless from my family and from abg family's as well, especially kakak. I want the things will get well organised and everybody would be happy for the marriage. Not to make another suffer for the whole of theirs lives.

Emmmm....I have to do something, in order to stop myself to think about this matter. I've been thinking of this so hard for those few days. I have to stop to do this. If not, I will get sick.

I beleive, love will always be with me for where ever I go and what ever I do.