Feeling

hi,

I just want to write something about "feeling".

I've read a comment just now, that anonymous had asked me to call abg if I missed him. I did. But I didn't told him that I miss him.

I admitted, what I'm having (the situation) with abg right now,was very different compared I had with Z before. I do not have any intention to compare between abg and Z. It will be definitely different.

I've wrote that I missed abg. And I really mean it. I do really missed him.
Then I called him. But I didn't tell him that I missed him.

I remember those days, I do say it over and over without fail, everyday.
For me, I got to tell him that I miss him..in the morning, afternoon and evening.
"I love you". That was the three words I used to say to him.

But, at the present, I was hardly to say it to abg. Even I miss him, but when ever we were on the phone, it was so hard for me to convey it to him. Even sometimes, I've planned that I'm gonna so say it...but auntil the last word, I can't. Shyness. Yes, I am shy to tell him.

With abg, I'm still looking after my "adab". I'm still not to say everything that I want to say easily. Not that mean I want to be hypocrite. It's just that I want to be as good as I can.

As I said, I'm in the process. I want everything in good. Everthing that will be going in good manner. No more hanky panky. Even the sweet talks. I don't want to make the same mistake.

So, that is the price I have to pay, right? So, even though I missed him, I will just keep inside. But I think, he knows that.

And, even right now, while I'm writing this, I do feel miss him.

I miss you abg. : )