Monday

hello..hi..

I did not go meet abg yesterday.

Few things came up and I didn't managed to preceed my plan. But, I'm so grateful actually because I have a reason not to go.

Frankly, I was the first who came with the idea to meet. Since I felt much better after the sickness, I felt that I wanted to meet him badly. Maybe "badly" might not the correct word that I have to use. But that maybe the best one to describe for what I felt that time. I'm really want to see him and at least can spend time with him even for awhile.

I know, I must not be supposed to act like that. Spending time..?? Hello..who am I that want to spend time with abg? I know I have to think twice for to write about this. But this is the reality. That was what I felt..truly.

So, last Wednesday I came out with this suggestion. When abg called me at the afternoon, I asked him for meeting this coming Sunday (yesterday). And for the mean time, atually I'm not 100% wanted it. Rasa..perasaan..keinginan. But far inside, I still don't want to that, because I'm scared actually with kakak. I know kakak was really do her work in searching me no matter what and no matter how, right now. And I'm not surprise if she hired a spy for this thing. And from the imformation that I heard, she's really get into it and she's really try it hard, very hard..very, very one !

So, yesterday, until noon, I've not confirmed it yet. And abg as usual, he sounds so sad when I told him that morning that I might not be able to meet him.

At 3pm, something came up here (at home) and I really can't go.

I gave him a call and canceled it. He understood for what had happened and everything was fine.

And last nite before off to bed, he called me to say goodnite, and as usual I said sorry for unable to make it yesteray.

And I'm so happy to hear his laughed over the phone., again.