He's Back Home

Hello.

Abg came back this afternoon. He called me last night and told me that he would take the early flight. As usual flight always delayed and he only touches down at 2.00pm.

I’ve been waiting his call since 12.00pm. He should be at the airport by that time. But until 3.30 he did not call me. He only sms me to let me know that he’s in Bandar S. He went to Zim’s house first. And again I can’t make a call.

He lost his pay bill sim card phone. Abg used to change his sim card when he was abroad. He preferred to use the prepaid card when he’s abroad. I saw the sms from the prepaid number that he used when the pay bill card still with “pihak berkuasa”. He just got it back 2 weeks before he left abroad. And now he lost it, abroad. I can imagine how careless he is.

About phone as well, I’ve been merajuk with him. It was happened the second day he arrived. He went there for a humanitarian work. He left with 2 professional workers and 2 businessmen and his best friend CK. I called him in the second night. And I heard one of his friends (the businessman) was so fussy about the phone bill. And I learnt something, abg he always listens to what his friends said. He is someone that count friend come first. So that, almost every time, friends (his close one) are always right.

That was really irritating, for me. I pay the bill, so what the heck with him. I was really mad and cut out the phone without saying goodbye that night. And I did not sms him the next morning. And I just reply “ok” when ever he sms him. I think he got puzzled when he got my first reply. I’ve made up my mind I don’t want to sms or call him that day or till he come back.

His first sms (This is the usual one) : Yang, dah bgn lum. Abg dah sarap. Yang ok?

I reply : ok

He sms : kenapa yang jawab pendek sgt. Yang tak sihat ke.

I reply : ok

He sms : yang, kenapa ni. Yang marah kat abg ke.

I did not reply.( it cost me 50 cent…rugilah I gaduh pasal tu jer) Until few sms came in.

Until this one, he sms me at about 10.30pm. really make my heart melt.

He sms : Abg x tau apa yg buat ** marah. Ada ke kwn ** yg KL tu tepon. Itu yg buat ** marah pd abg.

I replied : tak, bukan itu. (then I started explain about the incident night before)
I replied to him saying that I felt bad for what had happened the night before. I was so shamed. Even I was not there with him, but they know me. Even we never met, but they know abg was talking to whom. I felt, that I’m too much. I’ve been thinking kakak might not call him; she’s never care where’s abg going. I felt that I yang lebih2 pulak. They might say or think something bad towards me. I’m not even his wife yet. Who am I that make a phone call to ask whether he has taken his lunch, breakfast and asked his conditions there? Malu rasanya.

He replied : Abg sayang **

At that point I cair balik lah.

I sms : tepon jap.

He called.

Sometimes, I’ve been thinking how stupid I am. Especially in small matter like that. Sometimes, I just acted like 15 years old girl.

Wedding

Hello.

Firstly I want to write about what I had today.
I’ve been to one wedding ceremony. A very traditional typical malay wedding.

I’ve been there sharp at 1.30pm. I thought that would be the best time because usually at that time the bride and the groom will have their lunch (makan beradap) or something like that.

But today, I’ve missed that occasion. They had their lunch soon after the couple arrived. Probably at 1.00pm. So, I missed it.

But, I’m still lucky because they have bersanding occasion, during I having my lunch. And as a typical Malay wedding they always had one tent for the wedding MC which we always called it DJ. He will talk whatever that relate to the wedding and will announce what ever is happening at that time.

For today, the MC was talking about the everything about the couple. Who is the bride, the groom, where’s the bride came from (I attended the groom’s side), how they met, how’s the thing develop and so on.

As I enjoy to listen it, I’ve been thinking, how would it be if that my wedding day. Hehehehe. Would I tell everything where, when I’ve start my relationship…especially if I’m ended with abg. I won’t dare to tell people about it. Plus it would make several people pengsan and I might be make many people upset as well. So, that will not happen in my wedding.

Secondly, the bersanding session. Emmmm. It might not be happen as well. I’ve been teasing abg for many times, especially when I ame back from the wedding ceremony. I told him, I want all the full set of bersanding session. And he always laughed for that. And as he’s said, that would not suitable for a man at his age. Anyway, I was just joking. I don’t want for myself as well for that.

I would only wish that I can have a very simple wedding ceremony. With all the relatives and friends around to share the moments and pray for the best luck for us. I do not need all the grand preparations. Especially with the ribbons, flowers, small fountains with nice garden and what so ever that makes the wedding looked so lavish and grand. Even I don’t want the main table for the pengantin.

As we always see in every wedding ceremony we go, there must be a main table at least for 20 people. For me having meal with all the guests will make it better. No special treat for this people or that people and everyone will treat equal. Right?

I remember one of our cousin’s wedding 10 years ago, when there are too many VIPs and VVIPs had been invited. It was made everyone busy especially just for preparing for the 10 to 15 these people. The table, the setting, the gift and everything would be special for them. But now with help from the professional wedding planner everything will be smooth and easy. The host is just to make sure that they have enough money for that. But paying 10k extra just for that is ridiculous. Anyway, not for people that money is not the matter.

Anyway, for me, every time that came back from any wedding ceremony will make me bersemangat to get marry. Especially when most of the weddings I attended, the couples are really younger than me. That made me felt so old…..hehehehe. I wanna get marry soon.

Abg….how?

Abang oh Abang

Abg was really busy last weekend. The first daughter came hone for holiday with her child. Means, I can’t call him as usual and less sms. All those things I have to sacrifice for the moment.

There’s nothing special happened between me and abg lately. After been a year, I think, things/situations changed a bit. He’s not like 6 months ago. Things getting slower I guess. Maybe, we have known each better now, so more you know less that we can say.

Sometimes I do feel that abg neglect me. I should not feel like that because we are not husband and wife yet. Even he’s still called me everyday, but I still feel that he’s still “far” from me.

For that reason, I’m always asked myself for what I’m really looking for. I can’t ask more than that until we legally husband and wife.

But, deep inside I know abg is really caring. It’s not fair if I make a comparison between him and Z. Z is my past, even we are still keeping in touch, but the story is finished by now.

I just pray that we can get married earlier than we plan.

Abg will be abroad next Wednesday. I’m quite angry with that. I’ll write about it in my next entry, coz that will be another story.

Me and Z

Hello.

It’s really quite a long time I did not write anything here. There are many things to write until I do not know where to start.

I should write the worst one first. I met Z last Friday. I don’t know what made me so crazy that until I made a phone called in the morning and asked him to come down and meet. And him, I don’t know for not think twice agreed with my suggestion.

We met at about 5.30 pm after I’ve been waiting for about 30 minutes. As usual I’ll wait at the station. I have to admit that due to the shortcoming on last Monday gave me real big impact.

As I waiting, two girls were waiting for the train to east cost. They wondered why I did not buy any tickets, instead sitting and keep waiting for something. Been friendlier, I told them that I coming to fetch someone.

Zack came with white shirt and his black bag. I know he got out earlier from the office. If not he’ll be late than 5.30 pm. I just give a smile once I past the two girls, once Z arrived. And I’m pretty sure they would understand by that time, for what I mean before.

We had dinner together. Nothing is interesting. Everything happened just like usual. We had a talk into so many things, except marriage things.

I’ve planned that I wanted to tell him about that I’m going to “settle down”. But until the last moment, I can’t open my mouth to tell about it. And I think he understand that I might be with someone right now, because we were not closed like before. I’m more reserved and quite alert. Not too intimate like before. Over all we had a good time.

But deep inside, I felt so GUILTY towards abg. And until today abg did not know about that.