Take A Rest
hi,
There are not much that I want to write. I'm not in the mood to write and tell, at the moment.
By the way, I am totally break off with Z. I don't think that Z would call me in the future.
With a little effort i managed to get his home address. I went there and everything was seen clearly. I saw the 2 daughthers and two boys play in the porch. I can't stay with him any longer since that day.
I was felt really bad for taking so much time from them. They are still kids. That was never came accross my mind that he still got small kids. Anyway, it's over now. I do hope that he will never call or come and start all over again.
Bye, bye Z. For good this time.
And at the same time, I just feel don't have any mood to think about "man" in my life. I was felt really tired. I'm not regret it yet, it just I felt so tired. I wanna get a rest and get some peace of my mind.
I am still try, quite hard to make a distant between abg and me. Deep inside I felt that we can't be together, especially to be husband and wife. There are thousand things to be rethink in order to make us live together.
Anyway, there is still a hope. I am still want to be with someone, somedays. But I just don't want to think about it at the moment.
I do felt lonely, being left even sometimes been cheating but, hey..that's life !!
I forgive Z for what he had done. He might have a good reason for being such like that. And of course I'll be grateful for such wonderful time that we had together for the past 10 years.
I'm not perfect as well. I do make mistake and sometimes I hurt someone's feeling as well.
There are not much that I want to write. I'm not in the mood to write and tell, at the moment.
By the way, I am totally break off with Z. I don't think that Z would call me in the future.
With a little effort i managed to get his home address. I went there and everything was seen clearly. I saw the 2 daughthers and two boys play in the porch. I can't stay with him any longer since that day.
I was felt really bad for taking so much time from them. They are still kids. That was never came accross my mind that he still got small kids. Anyway, it's over now. I do hope that he will never call or come and start all over again.
Bye, bye Z. For good this time.
And at the same time, I just feel don't have any mood to think about "man" in my life. I was felt really tired. I'm not regret it yet, it just I felt so tired. I wanna get a rest and get some peace of my mind.
I am still try, quite hard to make a distant between abg and me. Deep inside I felt that we can't be together, especially to be husband and wife. There are thousand things to be rethink in order to make us live together.
Anyway, there is still a hope. I am still want to be with someone, somedays. But I just don't want to think about it at the moment.
I do felt lonely, being left even sometimes been cheating but, hey..that's life !!
I forgive Z for what he had done. He might have a good reason for being such like that. And of course I'll be grateful for such wonderful time that we had together for the past 10 years.
I'm not perfect as well. I do make mistake and sometimes I hurt someone's feeling as well.
posted by cahaya at 6:07 PM
1 Comments:
Hye cahaya,
i read the "take a rest" part yesterday..but was rushing to go to KL..so didn't get the chance to write to u..anyway, u wrote there that u saw 4 kids playing on the porch...u mean Z is also a married man? girl...u were really digging ur own grave...(but don't worry...that's just one phase of your life..you'll get pass through that...)
some ppl are born to be tough..they are so brave and they hv guts to actually erased the word "man" from their system.but i'm the type who cannot leave without man..(it sucks, i know..)when i was in that situation..i left both guys...started going out with my girlfriends- shopping, partying etc...doing all the girl stuffs..thinking that i was strong..that i can erase the word " man" from the oxford dictionary..but like i said -- I CAN'T lIVE WITHOUT MAN!! i just hv to accept the facts that i love to be around one...so i find the third,fourth,fifth one...single...i didn't even care to look at the background at all...ko semayang ke...ko minum arak ke...sukati kau la!! i just need to hv someone to talk with...to go to movie...eat ice cream while walking at mid valley... i just need a companion...so i went out with few guys...some turned out to be good ones and some crappy pun ada jugak...the one yg crappy tu i deleted from my list...(definitely..) --tapi all of them are just companions..some of them did asked me about my past...but i refused to tell...u know why? because when u started telling them about ur past -- it is either they will take advantage on ur vulnerability (the crappy one will usually do this)...or you'll drive them away because they think that u are not interested (usually the good ones!!)...and plus, i was looking for a companion , not a jabatan pengaduan!!
All i'm saying is that you don't hv to be strong to survive....if there's a single guy around...just go out..seek a companion...if u try to sit at home alone, u'll go nuts!!( i tried that before...i was almost going to be insane!)..but just try to get rid of those 2 men...they bring bad vibes!!
-sakura-
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