sayang jaga diri ye....

hi.

I was happy when i read that msg through the sms 3 mins before I start my writing.

I promised him to get my new toy in this coming 3 days. But luckily I managed to get it by this evening. And now I got no problem to get him at any time and anywhere I want. But Unluckily, he did not on his mobile.

I checked the msg in another phone, and he did say that. I missed him so much for the past those few days. The thing is getting tougher now. As hard as I want to put a distance from him, as that as I much think about him. Plus I do miss him. I felt "missing something" if I did not hear his voice for once. I did tell him about that, and he told me that was a good sign. "That was what I want, " he said. " I want you to be closer to me".

I know that from the start, 6 months ago. But, I am the one who wanted it another way round. I don't want to get involved again into this such relationship. But, who is me to , I just can plan but unable to control the faith.

But, today, its getting different. Everything is not what I pictured before. (Am I really want to go further?)

For what I've been thinking yesterday was changed today. For what I've been thinking today, might be change tomorrow. I won't know. I don't want to think it hard, but its really bother me.

As for the time being, I'll just follow for what comes. But I know, that I have to think about what may cause after that. Still, as the tiome being, abg and me, still like before, even many times that I've persuaded abg not to continue his niat, anymore.....

But today, abg has said so many nice things to me.

"Abg, will take care of you sayang"

"sayang, you'll be much better with me, soon"

"be petience sayang, the time will come"

"abg, betul-betul nak duduk (baca: nikah) dgn sayang"

" abg sayang, abg rindu amat"

*sigh*

I wanted to be cared and loved like that !!! But yet, I'm so scared to hear that phrases. More else to beleive it.

Liking someone is not an easy thing. It cannot be happen just like that. It will takes sometimes as well. From there I beleive came out saying" tak kenal, maka tak cinta".

Today I asked abg to ask kakak to come and propose me. I know its sound crazy. But I want it that way. I've told abg for many time, with God permission (insyaAllah) we will get married one day, but must with the kakak approval. And plus, I want kakak to come and ask on behalf of him. Coz, I beleive the happiness will begin from there and with that way.

Abg had asked me to accompany him on this coming Thursday to the court. He will attend his last trial on court. The result will be hear that day. I pray that he will win the case this time. But I'm still not sure to accept the invitation, but most probably I won't go.

I know he missed me much more than I missed him.

At sudden I just feel want to be hug......just a hug. :(

Nite .