Jealousy
hello.
Great that I'm able to write again today.
I was really tired last night. I thought I wanna to write few line before off to bed, but I'm too lazy to turn on the computer and get on the net.
I had a good time yesterday. I'm not spending any ringgit, even I'm almost to buy RM78 blouse tough. Lucky I met my long lost aunt, our long chat and bla..bla..bla made me forgot to buy it..:)
But, yesterday as well, I got a called from abg. He went home yesterday, after he was been away for 5 days. He was planned to continue his "separation session" till this coming Thursday. But, he can't. Kakak called up and the daughter had say her sorry.
He went home by 5pm yesterday. He called me, and told me that everything was ok and looked so so good. Kakak spoke to him, "nicely" he said. I think been away for that 5 days made her missed him a lot. I told abg as well, she must missed him. Been slept alone for many nights would be hard for her, especially they never did like that before. I think she got the lesson from this situation.
But, in the other hand, I just feel something inside. Honestly, I'm so happy for what he did. And I'm so happy as well, that they are getting together again right now. Hearing that kak was so nice, i shed my tears. I did my sujud syukur for that. Thanks Allah for ur rahmat. Alhamdullillah.
And today, I felt a bit uneasy. I'm started to feel like those days before. If they're getting well back, why I want to interfere.I should leave. LEAVE? That what I'm thinking back. And again, I'm started getting blurrrrrrr for what I really want. Am I jelous ? I don;t know. Why I should be jealous. Nope I'm not, I'm really happy.
Plus...abg called just now. He told me something that I never think about it. He told me that kakak had prepared the letter that she had allowed him to marry me, with few conditions. He told me, the conditions were quite tough but it were nothing to him..he said. As long that he can marry me. I just can't accept that. We will live in a real world, not a live for a week or a month. I want it forever. I asked him to read and understand the conditions that kakak had asked. It may looked simple, but he has to go through it carefully and make the desicion wisely. This time he got to think hard about this. He just can't follow by heart. I'm sure abg knows what to do.
Well, it's seems like the time is getting closer. And at the moment now, I'm trying to make a barrier with abg. I have to make sure that everything will be in order.But if people ask me, whether I am ready or not to be his second wife, until now, I'm not really know the answer. Even, I just can't think about it at the moment.
Great that I'm able to write again today.
I was really tired last night. I thought I wanna to write few line before off to bed, but I'm too lazy to turn on the computer and get on the net.
I had a good time yesterday. I'm not spending any ringgit, even I'm almost to buy RM78 blouse tough. Lucky I met my long lost aunt, our long chat and bla..bla..bla made me forgot to buy it..:)
But, yesterday as well, I got a called from abg. He went home yesterday, after he was been away for 5 days. He was planned to continue his "separation session" till this coming Thursday. But, he can't. Kakak called up and the daughter had say her sorry.
He went home by 5pm yesterday. He called me, and told me that everything was ok and looked so so good. Kakak spoke to him, "nicely" he said. I think been away for that 5 days made her missed him a lot. I told abg as well, she must missed him. Been slept alone for many nights would be hard for her, especially they never did like that before. I think she got the lesson from this situation.
But, in the other hand, I just feel something inside. Honestly, I'm so happy for what he did. And I'm so happy as well, that they are getting together again right now. Hearing that kak was so nice, i shed my tears. I did my sujud syukur for that. Thanks Allah for ur rahmat. Alhamdullillah.
And today, I felt a bit uneasy. I'm started to feel like those days before. If they're getting well back, why I want to interfere.I should leave. LEAVE? That what I'm thinking back. And again, I'm started getting blurrrrrrr for what I really want. Am I jelous ? I don;t know. Why I should be jealous. Nope I'm not, I'm really happy.
Plus...abg called just now. He told me something that I never think about it. He told me that kakak had prepared the letter that she had allowed him to marry me, with few conditions. He told me, the conditions were quite tough but it were nothing to him..he said. As long that he can marry me. I just can't accept that. We will live in a real world, not a live for a week or a month. I want it forever. I asked him to read and understand the conditions that kakak had asked. It may looked simple, but he has to go through it carefully and make the desicion wisely. This time he got to think hard about this. He just can't follow by heart. I'm sure abg knows what to do.
Well, it's seems like the time is getting closer. And at the moment now, I'm trying to make a barrier with abg. I have to make sure that everything will be in order.But if people ask me, whether I am ready or not to be his second wife, until now, I'm not really know the answer. Even, I just can't think about it at the moment.
posted by cahaya at 1:57 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home