Abg / Z
hello,
Today, for the first time after many weeks, Z came in back. I don't have any idea, where was he for the past few weeks.
And today as well, abg was really "something"..I don't know how to tell.
Abg and I had agreed to proceed. I had told him, I would accept his proposal and be prepared to be his second wife, but not that soon. And yesterday, abg was confessed that, he would only do after the umrah next year. I was so releif when he told me that he is going to perform his umrah and most probably with kakak next year. For me that will be the best thing to do in order to over come this kind of matter. So, I will be prepare my self as good as I can at least by June next year. But all that is just depends on the current situation. Anything can be change without notice.
For myself, I am 50% ready for that. I will take whatever will come in the future. But where is the another 50%?
Z ? Nope, the 50% is not with him. Even, I'm still thinking of him, but I think Z and me is over. I have to make it clear about that. But, still...we still can be friend. That one I can;t denied. For what is past is past. But he will be one of my best friend forever. He was with me for a quite long time. 8-9 years are not short. We gained into everything a lots. Its just that we don't have a chance to get together. I accept that. I have to.
I want to be much clear with what I want to do. Especially with this marriage that I want to do. Love, am I really love abg? But, is it just love that will only make the marriage work? So many things actually that will make one's marriage work. Like the melting pot, everything is inside and melt into one. Of course, love will be one of it.
So, for the time being, I will do for what is the best for me. Sometimes, I just can't think anymore. Pray..I got to pray ..a lot.
Please God, show me the right way to it. Ameen.
Today, for the first time after many weeks, Z came in back. I don't have any idea, where was he for the past few weeks.
And today as well, abg was really "something"..I don't know how to tell.
Abg and I had agreed to proceed. I had told him, I would accept his proposal and be prepared to be his second wife, but not that soon. And yesterday, abg was confessed that, he would only do after the umrah next year. I was so releif when he told me that he is going to perform his umrah and most probably with kakak next year. For me that will be the best thing to do in order to over come this kind of matter. So, I will be prepare my self as good as I can at least by June next year. But all that is just depends on the current situation. Anything can be change without notice.
For myself, I am 50% ready for that. I will take whatever will come in the future. But where is the another 50%?
Z ? Nope, the 50% is not with him. Even, I'm still thinking of him, but I think Z and me is over. I have to make it clear about that. But, still...we still can be friend. That one I can;t denied. For what is past is past. But he will be one of my best friend forever. He was with me for a quite long time. 8-9 years are not short. We gained into everything a lots. Its just that we don't have a chance to get together. I accept that. I have to.
I want to be much clear with what I want to do. Especially with this marriage that I want to do. Love, am I really love abg? But, is it just love that will only make the marriage work? So many things actually that will make one's marriage work. Like the melting pot, everything is inside and melt into one. Of course, love will be one of it.
So, for the time being, I will do for what is the best for me. Sometimes, I just can't think anymore. Pray..I got to pray ..a lot.
Please God, show me the right way to it. Ameen.
posted by cahaya at 9:28 AM
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