Tired, Sad and Mad
Hi,
I'm, so tired today.
I went to the doctor for my regular checking. I told doctor what I've been felt lately. We had a quite long discussion. Been 10 only mins in doc's room was quite a long period for me. But today, I spent 40 mins in his room! We had discussed into so many things...af course all related to my 'problems'. I've seen him for almost complete 3 years since I was admitted there in the late 2002. He helped me a lots through out the years. And I never failed to do my folllow-up till now. But today, I made a decision to asked him to refer me to the GH, near to my place. He, was as usual, always agreed for any suggestion which is he think best for his patient. Even he was suggested to me last year, but I insisted. He gave me for a one month medication, and enclosed with a "letter" to the GH doctor. I bid him goodbye, but I warned him, do not be suprise if I come again next month..and as usual he just laughed.
Plus, what make me sad and mad?
he bp reading was not good.I knew it, its never down to 80 for the bottom for quite long after I stopped my atenalol (if im not mistake the spelling). I had a bad cough since I took it. And norvasc 5mg itself was not enough to control my bp. He was added one more tablet to be taken at night since last month, but I never started. I was afraid actually, and somemore I've been thinking that I can control the bp. But I was totally wrong. Then, this morning I was promised to him to take it tonight. Even I was confidently told him that I still kept the medicine.
Back home, when I want to take it tonight, I've been searching that tablet...I can't remember the name..terripless...tripple..or something like that...but it were not at the "place" anymore. I'm always put all my medicine on the fridge...i know that was not the proper place, but for the past 3 years I never lost or short my medicine. It just tonight, I lost all the "terepes".
I'm so sad and am so mad. Neng was felt guitly...that she felt she's the one who did the cleaning session. So, she would be the one who might be thrown away my medicine. Everybody was blamed me. And I just told them, just be quite..do not make my blood pressure go "upstair" again. So, I made the conclusion, the medicine might be had been throw away. Who did it I never care. Its just fated, its not anybody faults. I accept it.
But down deep inside, I was so sad...:( I went upstair, and lay down on my bad. I wanna talk to abg, I wanna told him, I lost my "treepress"..sorry I still can't remember the name. I sent him a sms " abg, I'm so sad...neng throw my medicine"..(Poor neng, I accused her). And not long than 5 mins, he gave me a call. And he, for no reason, he was getting angry with neng. And, what else....I cried all the way....(only for that reason). I know, it was not neng's fault. She might not throw the medicine. I don't want to have a "buruk sangka" with neng. But poor, she's the one kena marah...but luckily, she did not hear that..:)
Well, I'm too much..right? I'm noticed that I'm getting "manja"now.
Ok..finish one story.
Another story, for what happened today.
Today also, I was with abg. But today, not two of us, but three.
Ehem...not with kakak...I wish..that I can be get going with kakak.
Not her, but with best friend. And for the first time also today for the past 8 months, I introduced abg to this my very very good friend. She''s been only listened to my story about this abg..bla..bla..blaa...this and that but never know who..but today I just make a appearence for her eyes only. In live. :)
We had lunch together. We had tea together. And we went back home together, but in different vehicles. Abg brought his and I brought mine.
Well, I had a great time today, until tonight when I found that I've lost my 'terepes"...lol..I still can't remember the name.
To abg, I know how much you love me.
To my best friend, thanks for the understanding, and by now, I hope that you can see as well, how much he mean it.
I'm, so tired today.
I went to the doctor for my regular checking. I told doctor what I've been felt lately. We had a quite long discussion. Been 10 only mins in doc's room was quite a long period for me. But today, I spent 40 mins in his room! We had discussed into so many things...af course all related to my 'problems'. I've seen him for almost complete 3 years since I was admitted there in the late 2002. He helped me a lots through out the years. And I never failed to do my folllow-up till now. But today, I made a decision to asked him to refer me to the GH, near to my place. He, was as usual, always agreed for any suggestion which is he think best for his patient. Even he was suggested to me last year, but I insisted. He gave me for a one month medication, and enclosed with a "letter" to the GH doctor. I bid him goodbye, but I warned him, do not be suprise if I come again next month..and as usual he just laughed.
Plus, what make me sad and mad?
he bp reading was not good.I knew it, its never down to 80 for the bottom for quite long after I stopped my atenalol (if im not mistake the spelling). I had a bad cough since I took it. And norvasc 5mg itself was not enough to control my bp. He was added one more tablet to be taken at night since last month, but I never started. I was afraid actually, and somemore I've been thinking that I can control the bp. But I was totally wrong. Then, this morning I was promised to him to take it tonight. Even I was confidently told him that I still kept the medicine.
Back home, when I want to take it tonight, I've been searching that tablet...I can't remember the name..terripless...tripple..or something like that...but it were not at the "place" anymore. I'm always put all my medicine on the fridge...i know that was not the proper place, but for the past 3 years I never lost or short my medicine. It just tonight, I lost all the "terepes".
I'm so sad and am so mad. Neng was felt guitly...that she felt she's the one who did the cleaning session. So, she would be the one who might be thrown away my medicine. Everybody was blamed me. And I just told them, just be quite..do not make my blood pressure go "upstair" again. So, I made the conclusion, the medicine might be had been throw away. Who did it I never care. Its just fated, its not anybody faults. I accept it.
But down deep inside, I was so sad...:( I went upstair, and lay down on my bad. I wanna talk to abg, I wanna told him, I lost my "treepress"..sorry I still can't remember the name. I sent him a sms " abg, I'm so sad...neng throw my medicine"..(Poor neng, I accused her). And not long than 5 mins, he gave me a call. And he, for no reason, he was getting angry with neng. And, what else....I cried all the way....(only for that reason). I know, it was not neng's fault. She might not throw the medicine. I don't want to have a "buruk sangka" with neng. But poor, she's the one kena marah...but luckily, she did not hear that..:)
Well, I'm too much..right? I'm noticed that I'm getting "manja"now.
Ok..finish one story.
Another story, for what happened today.
Today also, I was with abg. But today, not two of us, but three.
Ehem...not with kakak...I wish..that I can be get going with kakak.
Not her, but with best friend. And for the first time also today for the past 8 months, I introduced abg to this my very very good friend. She''s been only listened to my story about this abg..bla..bla..blaa...this and that but never know who..but today I just make a appearence for her eyes only. In live. :)
We had lunch together. We had tea together. And we went back home together, but in different vehicles. Abg brought his and I brought mine.
Well, I had a great time today, until tonight when I found that I've lost my 'terepes"...lol..I still can't remember the name.
To abg, I know how much you love me.
To my best friend, thanks for the understanding, and by now, I hope that you can see as well, how much he mean it.
posted by cahaya at 11:50 PM
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